iboldir's wanderings

2009-07-07T12:19:00.002+01:00

Can't believe it's July already. There'd been a few real summery days. That was wonderful. Lots of work continued. Having been in and out of my inner balance. Fourth lesson completed in Herbalism course. Had attended a Level 2 course on Bach flower essences. Learnt quite a lot, especially that I need more confidence. Having felt upset not being able to attend a concert of Loreena McKennitt in Budapest. A friend from Portugal was here for a short visit. Finally being able to sit down with a new book. Waiting for the new Harry Potter movie. Orlando (cat) is still here. Another sudden turn of events (positive). Being hopeful.

2009-06-03T21:47:00.002+01:00

Laziness in writing, get away from me!

I've been too much occupied with other things. Some of these things have come to an end, some have continued, and new ones have started.

Quick visit at home at the end of April. May has gone with a blink. My mum in Edinburgh for the summer, working in one of the neighbouring guesthouses. Herbalism course, second lesson completed. Windy days. Summery, sunny days. New sandals and white jeans. A purple hat. Lots of work. Inner struggles. Orlando, the cat is back again. Barbecue. Yoga enjoyed fully. Holiday plans for September.

2009-02-23T16:00:00.002+01:00

I met someone today who had a look at my blog. And a friend last week made a comment that she's waiting for some updates. I'm always surprised to hear or read that my thougths have been looked at, my words have been read.
I've been very lazy to write these past months. I had lots of thoughts, but perhaps it wasn't the time to share them.
A very close acquaintance passed away in November. She was my mother's best friend, and I also knew her since I was a child. A sweet, goodhearted, gentle person. She was like a second mother to me.
My mother came for a visit in December. Great time, lots of fun. The holidays passed very quickly. I stayed here in Edinburgh, because the guesthouse was open, so I was working. I had a lovely traditional Christmas dinner at Roddy's.
I'd been at home in January for two weeks. Catching up with parents and friends. I started to take up Yoga classes. And I stopped with my Portuguese. At least for some time.
February has brought something of a surprise. I need to learn to accept life's gifts. I need to learn to be able to receive blessings.

2008-10-20T20:45:00.002+01:00

Scottish October.

After a warm holiday at home, when I tried to soak up as much sunshine as possible, I'm back to my favourite Scottish city.

With autumn, a "new year" has started as well. Hope it will be a good, healthy and sweet one.

I've started some new "projects" lately. I work as a volunteer once a week in a Cancer Research charity shop, which is just around the corner. Jackie, the manager of the shop is a lovely, warmhearted woman. And she is a homeopath as well.

I enrolled to a Portuguese language course at the university. The charm of my heart's homeland, Portugal, has not been lifted yet. It's stubbornly holding its place there. So I thought, I should perhaps "brush up" my language skills. I don't need a big brush though. What a language! When I hear it spoken, I catch only words. It's beautiful to my ears, but will there come a day when I can put the sentences together in my head?

I've a new friend. His name is Roddy, is 62, and runs a neighbouring guesthouse. He is a good friend of my manager, that's how I came to know him. Now he comes almost everyday for a cup of tea. And - he is a Knight Templar. Really. He is!

Orlando, the cat, has changed her mind, and moved back home. She still comes to visit or for a snack, but presently she's a resident of Gilmore Place 40, not 26. I miss her.

My favourite British author, Salley Vickers has published a new novel lately, Where Three Roads Meet. I've got it, I'm going to start to read it soon.

I'll try to write more often.

2008-08-13T22:13:00.002+01:00

More than a month has passed since my last visit here. What can happen in a month?
Not too much. Just little things, but little things are equally important.
I bought a beautiful travel diary, and I really enjoy writing it in Hungarian and with a normal pen. No computers. The cat (Orlando) which belongs to the manager moved here. They live just a few houses away, and one day Orlando appeared and - sort of - stayed. She used to visit many of the neighbours' gardens and get some food as well, but gradually she set up her real base here in the guesthouse. Of course I'm glad, we are good friends.
I went to the concert of Salsa Celtica, my big Scottish discovery band. I can't tell you just in a few sentences what kind of magic they had done at Queen's Hall. ~Their music is really like a journey back and forth between Scotland and Latin-America. For a minute as the pipes or fiddles play you are roaming the green landscape of Scotland under the constantly moving clouds, you even feel the cool rain on your face; the other minute you are transported to the sunny, hot and relaxed place of Latin-America, you hear people laughing and talk with a loud voice...

2008-07-03T21:17:00.002+01:00

This evening we celebrated Talo's birthday. He is my colleague and the nephew of our manager. He cooked chicken and rice for us, his favourite dish (very common food in Kurdistan, I think all Kurdish people love it!) . Four of us: he, his uncle, Andi (another girl from Hungary working here) and me have eaten with good appetite and even better mood. We sipped tasteful Spanish wine. In fact, some of it is still here with me, by the computer.
This dinner helped my inner world to get into good balance again. All afternoon I was walking on the busy streets of Edinburgh. Traffic, a lot of people. I wished I was reclining on the sofa down in our room, in quiet. Tomorrow, I'll do that.
And when I got back, there was this tasty dinner waiting on the table.
Simple things do make a difference.

2008-06-14T22:22:00.003+01:00

Greetings from Edinburgh, where you hear all the time the seagulls' crying (a bit more agressive than up in the Highlands), where you feel the wind always blowing, and where you see the clouds always moving.

So I'm here again, starting my second week in this fascinating city.

I live and work about 10-15 minutes walk from the centre. I have the same job as in the last one year: looking after people in a guesthouse.

It wasn't easy to leave home. I never thought I would return to Scotland. But - I know I'm repeating myself - life is full of surprises. It made me come back.

So once again I'm walking the streets among the grey buildings, looking up to see all the small towers. Once again I'm having coffee in the Elephant House, the "birthplace of Harry Potter".

Once again I'm pacing the Royal Mile, and sit in the Princes Street Gardens.

This time however I'm not a guest here. How do I make Edinburgh "mine"? How do I find my own place within this multicultural hub?

These are some of the questions that occupy my mind at present...

2008-05-29T10:47:00.003+01:00

"The crisis is the turning point", says a Chinese proverb. And this was a very important word of encouragement given to me by a friend from the other side of the world, Taiwan.

It only needs time, I would add.

Sunshine has a healing power, and we have had so far a lot of sunshine lately. I try to store those warming rays in my memory and body, so that I can reach back to them later when I will be up in Scotland again.

Not yet though, and 'till then I try to live the present according to my abilities.

I finished reading a new book from Paulo Coelho: The Handbook of the Warrior of Light. Inspiring.

I try to sleep as much as I can.

I collected 5 bags of rubbish from all my drawers in my room. Very interesting selection.

I watch the small family of pigeons who built a nest in our window. I watched as they came out of the eggs, and then as they learned to fly. The parents are incredibly caring. They all keep coming back because we give them to eat.

The best time to watch this local "life of birds" (even Sir Attenborough would be pleased) is about 19.30 in the evening. The street is quiet by that time, and the only noise is made by the various birds. Apart from the pigeons we have some swallows as well, they live above our kitchen window.

And then, I start slowly preparing for my next life-phase. I have to select what I will bring with myself, clothes, books, and memories. I know I have to go, but it is hard.

2008-05-11T14:37:00.000+01:00

To continue my last thought, the place of the unknown has welcomed me at home with a new "surprise", and once again I must learn that having plans, no, even having hopes doesn't mean to be able to turn them to reality.
How does one feel when heartbroken? How does one feel after having reached the place where she's willing to give herself up for the sake of the other and then she's made to realize all this was futile? How does one feel after a year of hopes and struggles about love?
How do I feel and what do I think?
I start to see the world through different eyes.
Because this time the sharp bitterness did not come. Nor the acidlike self-reproach. Not even self-pity.
I know I had done everything I could.
And I know that he had not.
I've gained a new opportunity to move on. Forward.

The unexpected turns of life continue. The city of Edinburgh has got a hold on me, I alredy wrote about this. It seems that the next chapter's scene (from June) will be there. It's really funny.
I start to be curious why I still need to return there...?
I want to be open to learn new things.
In the meantime, home, sweet home.

2008-04-24T11:41:00.002+01:00

As I am counting - after one year - my last days in Scotland, all kinds of memories and feelings pass through me.

I'm trying slowly to detach myself. I'm again about to move on to a new phase, and the change usually doesn't happen in a day. I need time to shift my focus.

The first part of this shifting is letting go - of places, people, habits. The invisible threads that link me to the life here need to get "loose" so that I can really leave. Not loose in the sense that I don't care about these things anymore, no. I still keep them close, but at the same time I'm creating a distance, and then this distance empowers them with a special meaning.

A year in the Highlands has made me, in a way, "tough" - or at least tougher than before. Working with Scots is a toughening experience, and don't take me wrong, please. One has to earn their friendship. They can measure you, ignore you, ridicule you, but they can also let you in their hearts and look at you as their equal. They are a bit of a "wild" people - maybe it has to do with the climate: they had to adjust to the rough weather, the harsh winds, the rain, the clouds. The reason I feel this way is perhaps that I came from the other extreme: the people in Portugal were so gentle, with their hearts "outside" and with the question in their eyes: how can I help you? This gentleness was one of the reasons I felt so much at home there.

The Scottish don't pamper you. In a way they make you scramble to your feet and you just do what you should be doing.

It's getting obvious that I've got mixed feelings about Scotland. It is a very beautiful country with interesting people. I'll never forget the sight of the green and brown hills all around, the grazing sheep, the loud cries of those huge seagulls as well as of the bagpipes, and the fresh "transparency" of the air. Still, I didn't feel at home. I was often thinking if I could live here on long term, and I reached the conclusion that perhaps Edinburgh would be the only place...

Up in the Highlands the weather is too cold for me. Yet I have to admit that my allergy not even once bothered me here!

And there are a few things which I wouldn't know had I not spent this past year here. Things that have become important and inspiring.

I owe to Scotland that I've got to know the books of the British writer, Salley Vickers. I borrowed them one by one from the local library. Reading them was a special experience. Her books - although they are very much different from one another - fuse the areas of art, religion, literature and psychology in an enchantingly subtle way. Publishers in Hungary should know about her!

I also owe to Scotland that I've discovered the music of Salsa Celtica. They are a dominantly Scottish band, playing an invigorating mixture of Celtic and Latin American music. Someone commented while listening to them that it is as if there were two different CDs palying at the same time. Well, I think they've got the perfect mixture, and I certainly wouldn't have survived the cold Scottish winter months without them.

And as a fresh "delicatesse", I'm just getting to know another Scottish band's music - they're called Lau. Guitar, fiddle and accordion. It carries you away, it's powerful, it's emotional, and you start to stamp your feet automatically.

Last but not least, I also owe to Scotland the newly found appreciation for my hometown and that the links which tie me to my family and friends have grown much stronger and more emotional.

It is in Scotland that I've learned to embrace the unpredictable turns of life. Making plans doesn't mean you'll be able to turn them to reality. It is perhaps here that I've learned that one should trust the unknown. Go with faith to the place where one feels one must go, even if not sure about what will be waiting there...

2008-04-20T19:04:00.002+01:00

Back to Edinburgh once more...

It seems Edinburgh's got the magic. After about half an hour in the Old Town I'm inspired and excited. Circling the streets and lanes with the cobbled stones, looking up at the many towered buildings, feeling the majesty of the Castle up on the hill and the enchantment of the small shops one after the other... A cold wind blows as Saturday's eve falls but I endure.
The wind today is even stronger, although later the spring sunshine warms up the city.
I have a tight schedule. First I'm heading towards the Holyrood Palace, because last time I had no time left to make a visit. Mary, Queen of Scots made it as her home in the 16th century. She said "In my end is my beginning", according to a quote on a bookmark I buy in the Palace's shop. She certainly had no easy life, and to the present day she remains an intriguing figure in history.
My plan to join the "Edinburgh Booklovers Tour" fails. I'm waiting at the appointed place at the appointed time but no one ever comes. So I remain unluckily uninformed about the places, facts and myths that connect to the city's famous writers: Robert Burns, Sir Walter Scott,
Conan Doyle, Robert L. Stevenson, J.K. Rowling. I feel disappointment but make a decision: now I have a good reason to return again in the future!
So what do I do instead? Spend time choosing CDs with the help of a well-informed salesman in a shop specialized in folk and world music. Wander around in the National Galleries of Scotland until I really have to sit down, my feet demand a break.
Then I feel hunger coming... Fortunately I remember from last evening that there are some very promising food stands near Princess Street. The sellers came from France and offer wonderfully smelling dishes. I choose one which is a mixture of potatoes, mushrooms, peppers, onion, cream and cheese. I think the name of the dish starts with a T, although I'm not sure. I eat it on a bench in the Princess Street Gardens in the sunshine, seagulls crying in the background. I'm in Edinburgh but the taste "transports" me to some small French town - if I were Joanne Harris I could start a brand new book right here.
As the crown on top of all I'm attending a concert later at St. Giles Cathedral. Sundays at Six, they call it, because there's one each Sunday. The musicians of the Edinburgh Academy this time, give me a satisfying musical experience.
Tomorrow morning I'll still have enough time to have coffee at the Elephant House and glance at the colorful site of the shops (one blue, the other green, still another orange).
Edinburgh, I'll keep you in my memory's special chest...!

2008-03-20T16:32:00.002+01:00

"The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.
Don't go back to sleep.
You must ask for what you really want.
Don't go back to sleep.
People are going back and forth across the doorsill
where the two worlds touch.
The door is round and open.
Don't go back to sleep."

Words from Rumi, Arabic poet and mystic from the Middle Ages

2008-03-03T16:46:00.002+01:00

Well, I'm back to Scotland.

I returned to my work at the hotel. Only for 2 months, though. Then I'll say farewell.

I'm not sure if I will be able to provide any interesting news about my life here. My days will look quite the same, and I'll count them one by one, until I can go home. But if I happen to bump into any interesting book for example, I'll let you know. Or if I have any inspiring thought, I'll share them.

Thanks for reading me, anyway!

2008-02-14T18:35:00.000+01:00

To those who need these words, on Valentine's day

One of my favourite poems, by W. B. Yeats: The Two Trees
(I heard it sung by Loreena McKennitt)

Beloved, gaze in thine own heart,
The holy tree is growing there;
From joy the holy branches start,
And all the trembling flowers they bear.
The changing colours of its fruit
Have dowered the stars with merry light;
The surety of its hidden root
Has planted quiet in the night;
The shaking of its leafy head
Has given the waves their melody,
And made my lips and music wed,
Murmuring a wizard song for thee.
There the Loves a circle go,
The flaming circle of our days,
Gyring, spiring to and fro
In those great ignorant leafy ways;
Remembering all that shaken hair
And how the winged sandals dart,
Thine eyes grow full of tender care;
Beloved, gaze in thine own heart.

Gaze no more in the bitter glass
The demons, with their subtle guile,
Lift up before us when they pass,
Or only gaze a little while;
For there a fatal image grows
That the stormy night receives,
Roots half hidden under snows,
Broken boughs and blackened leaves.
For all things turn to barenness
In the dim glass the demons hold,
The glass of outer weariness,
Made when God slept in times of old.
There, through the broken branches, go
The ravens of unresting thought;
Or else they stand and sniff the wind,
And shake their ragged wings: alas!
Thy tender eyes grow all unkind:
Gaze no more in the bitter glass.

2008-01-25T16:04:00.000+01:00

I never liked January. Even if there are quite a few sunny days, like now.
Before, I only had a kind of empty, barren feeling at this time of the year. By now, it has managed to put a strong dislike into my thoughts.
Last year it put me into the middle of uncertainty concerning my financial situation and "career". It was because of this that I've decided to find work abroad, as you know, in Scotland.
This year it went even farther, if I may use this expression. It's doing its best to challenge my trust in someone. My trust, which has been built with such a surprising joy, with respect, and with love. And perhaps it is not needed anymore...
What if it wasn't January? Would it be the same in March or July or October?
But this is here and now, and it's putting me to the test.
Solution will come, I know.
By that time I'm doing my best to live my life fully, to find those happy hours which sweeten our existence - be it friendships, books, music, or clothes, coffee, lunch. And besides, six more days and January is over!

As I read over the sentences above, I've seen something between the lines. Last year's January pushed me out of a situation, which I couldn't solve here.
Maybe this time it is similar. It's pushing me out, again.
Maybe there is a message.

2008-01-08T12:32:00.000+01:00

I'm home now in Komárom. I'll be staying until about the end of February, spending my well-deserved holidays off work. (The hotel is closed for this period of time).
Well, the second half of December was extremely busy. I had five wonderful days in Edinburgh. I've fallen in love with the city. It has a special, historical, sometimes even mysterious atmosphere. I was trying to compare it to some other cities which I had visited already, and I came to the conclusion that to me, Edinburgh is a kind of mixture of Zürich, Bern and Prague. I can't really explain why.
This latest Christmas and New Year had been about work. Lots of work. The hotel was very busy, and all of us were working very hard. There had been some days with "sunshine" as well, like being invited on Christmas Eve by my friend Janice for a glass of sherry; or going with colleagues for a mug of hot chocolate to "Maya" in Strathpeffer. I think they have the best hot chocolate in the world!
Apart from these, I did not really have time for anything else...

And now that I'm finally at home, these past few days I had spent in bed, "battling" a stubborn cold. But I'm almost there now, with the flag of victory in my hand.

I'll be back one of these days, see you...

2007-12-05T16:21:00.000+01:00

My aromatherapy course is going very well. I'm even learning a few basic massage techniques on the face and the shoulders. I'm trying hard to restrict myself from buying too many essentials oils, because how will I carry them home on the plane??

I wish I could continue these "studies" somehow...

Books... Well, our chef has lent me a book about the "Brahan Seer", a man who lived either in the 17th or 18th centuries here in the Highlands, and had a special ability of foretelling future happenings. He is very widely known in this area, and Michael thought I might be interested to know more about him. I've just started the book.

I saw the beautiful movie called Whale Rider on tv. It is about choosing the future leader of a Maori tribe in New Zealand. Clashing of traditions of old and the fresh new insight of a girl.

And I watch every Sunday night a series, called Cranford. 19th century values, and a lot of single ladies of all ages. It's fun. And one of the characters is played by Judi Dench, a favourite actress of mine.

From 8 December we are free for two weeks, we have no coaches again, only for Christmas. A lot of rest, and then we are going with the Polish and the Taiwaneese girls for five days to Edinburgh! I can't wait... We will also have a "staff party" before Christmas at a local expensive hotel. Delicious dinner, drinks and heaven knows what else...

2007-11-18T12:34:00.000+01:00

I'm back again to Scotland. My one week holiday at home was very nice, but I blinked once and it was over...

Yet, when I arrived to Strathpeffer Hotel, there was a very pleasant surprise waiting for me: in the meantime I've been moved to another room, which is only mine, no roommate! The story behind it is that when I left for home, the Italian girl moved to our room with Magda, because her room was needed for guests (full house at that weekend). And it seems that they really "fell in love" with each other so much that they wanted to stay together. So, the solution was to move me somewhere else (since no more real full house until New Year's Eve), which they did. And I don't mind it at all!:)

From today we are free for a week, no coach at the hotel. Good time for sleeping a lot, especially in this rainy weather...
Tomorrow I'm going to search for some new books in the library.

2007-10-30T13:35:00.000+01:00

I've started a course on "Aromatherapy & Essential Oils" last week. I think it will be really interesting, perfect for my interest.

In two days I'm going home for a week holiday! I'm so impatient...

2007-10-22T13:01:00.000+01:00

I have only once piece of news today, I finished Salley Vickers' third book: The Other Side of You. And I can't stop thinking about it. I've been simply engrossed in it and I've learned a lot of things. Perhaps the most about love. Not about cheap love which wants only "candyfloss and reassurance". But about love which is "demanding, a nuisance, and is bloody absent much of the bloody time". And is "painful, and forces change on us". And for which you are ready to fight and ready to die - meaning that you are ready to do things against yourself. And that love is "letting the other person be".

And all this in the story of a failed suicide: a woman patient and her psychoanalyst. Her story which sheds light on his past loss as well. And the paintings of Caravaggio. And some tales behind them.

2007-10-13T17:19:00.000+01:00

On my day off on Thursday finally I've seen the town of Ullapool. It always fascinated me, because I really like this name: Ullapool. Try to say it aloud, it's nice.

I didn't know before but it is a small town, small enough to see the white houses and the harbour in two hours. It is on the west coast of Scotland, and from its harbour you can reach Stornoway by ferry.

I joined one of the coaches, it takes about an hour to reach Ullapool. On the way there I was completely amazed by the scenery. Never in my life had I seen something like that. The winding road led among softly shaped brownish hills, and all around grey stones were scattered as if a giant had been playing there long time ago. It really looked like being on another planet. Could've been Mars, I suppose (just because of the colour). It was beautiful, and I was wondering about the slow process with which Scotland, especially the Highland has "invaded" me. I have to admit - and it doesn't mean that I'm disloyal to my beloved Portugal - that in a sense, I've fallen in love with this country. Well, especially with the scenery and nature.

It does have something special about it. Something magical, which, once you have learned to admire it, doesn't let you go...

I finished in the meantime another book by Salley Vickers. Instances of the Number 3. The writer has become now one of my favourites. I mentioned her once already. Very subtle, psychological, gentle, and takes you to ponder about life's and death's questions. I took the third book yesterday from the library...

2007-10-07T18:15:00.000+01:00

Golden Scotland. That's the best expression I think.

We are off all weekend because no coaches (no guests) for three days. Rest assured. I've been getting used too much to not working! But yesterday I went to a small fishertown called Nairn, which is very close to Inverness. And I saw the North Sea. The sea... makes me feel I'm a different person. Walking on the beach, listening to the seagulls' cries, watching the playful dogs enjoying the spacious sand, collecting some pebbles and shells. What else can I wish for? Perhaps for a wonderful plate of soup in a cafe called Basil with a view to the harbour. Hmm...

Today we (5 girls from 5 different countries) went for a walk, just nearby. Originally we set off to look for some "Highland cows", but then we entered the park of Castle Leod (even though we saw it's "private") and saw beautiful and huge chestnut trees. Then at the back of the castle we met an unusually friendly (and a little well-fed) cat, so we had some amusement, too. Then the owner of the "house" discovered us and didn't seem to be happy at all... So we left.

We had some sunshine, too, it is still quite strong...

2007-10-03T17:57:00.000+01:00

I mentioned in my last post that we've got in touch with my second cousin who lives in Las Vegas. We started to correspond, to share about our lives. Now I discovered that she likes Portugal as well. I wonder is it something in our family that makes us to be attracted to this certain place in the world? Or "soul family"? Or why are we drawn to some places anyway? Questions.

It's been two days now that I have a very sore back. It's always like that when I'm worrying or thinking too much about something. This time I've been thinking about my work, our hotel, my future, the next year. Decisions to make. Soon.

Autumn colours are slowly invading the village. The scenery has started to get a brownish-yellowish tint, but everything is still very green. I have the feeling that everything is slowing down...

2007-09-28T18:01:00.000+01:00

I'm thinking about time, once again. Weeks have been passing by at full speed.

As I suspected, my roommate has changed... Now I live with a Polish girl, her boyfriend finished working here because of his university studies at home, so we share our room until the end of the year. She is a "talking type", she's talking to me even when I'm reading...

By the way, reading. I have just finished a very special book by a Spanish writer, Carlos Ruiz Zafon: The Shadow of the Wind. Set in the 50's Barcelona, it unfolds the story of a writer, as a boy is trying to find out what had happened to him. And of course, much much more.

I've "met" my second cousin on the web yesterday. I have last seen her when we were children. She lives in America. I'm still thinking about this, I mean about our meeting.

I heard of a good friend, she and her boyfriend have just returned from Spain. They were walking for about a month the so called Camino, a special pilgrimage road of 800 kms leading to Santiago de Compostela. She wrote that to be at home again is like waking from a beautiful dream. I'll tell her that now she has to live that dream...

'Till next...

2007-09-06T15:58:00.000+01:00

Hello my dear Friends,

I'm finally back...

All my apologies for this long break. I imagine you have been already very curious about my life, haven't you? :-)

Well, I'm not going to tell anyone how the story of Harry Potter has ended. Very interesting, though, I do recommend it for reading!

I'm still and already back to Scotland. As you may remember, I was very much looking forward to my holidays at home. It turned out to be very enjoyable, very exciting and - very short. I took it as a present that I could enjoy a week of real summer (that's all I had of it this year), and my whitened skin (a la Scotland) has got a little yellowish tan at least. You don't know what a nice feeling it was to walk in sandals!!!

I was very sorry not to be able to meet more of my Budapest-friends, but time and my "schedule" at home wouldn't let me this time.

And now, everything is back to usual. Our own little "Muppet Show" at the hotel still goes on (since "the show must go on" as Freddie Mercury once sang very wittyly). The season is still on with lots of guests, sometimes even from abroad. In the kitchen now we have a radio. Our pixie-cook has taken it in, and he (and it means, we as well) is listening to it louder day by day. It's the second month now that I'm sharing a room with - well, first with a Japanese, and now with a Taiwanese girl. I wonder who'll be the next?

One of my latest Scottish discoveries is a band called Runrig, actually they come from here, from the Highland. They draw from the local historical, political and national heritage. As my 60 year old mathemathician friend commented on it, it is a "bit like Led Zeppelin and a bit like Red Hot Chili Pepper".

So, any comments this time? They are very welcome!

2007-07-28T14:39:00.000+01:00

I am reading the last book of Harry Potter - Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. No time for anything else:-) Sorry...

2007-07-08T12:18:00.000+01:00

Someone - whose opinion is important to me - pointed out that I always write about the weather. Okay, that is a correct observation, I have to admit.
I promise I'll do something about it.
Next time you'll see...

2007-06-27T14:30:00.000+01:00

I find myself thinking about time. How relative it could seem.

June is almost gone.

The missing weeks on my blog do not mean that nothing has been happening to me. But these happenings are mostly taking place in my soul and - I'm ever so sorry - at this point I cannot share them with you. When the time comes - again, time - I'll write of it.

I miss the Summer. Here the weather is what I would rather call Spring, even when there is some generous sunshine. The breeze is always cool, mostly coming from the West or North. When my free time and the weather collide I go for walks, recently into the nearby wood. Such greenery, fragrance of the moist soil, the wise trees and the birds' songs fill me with peace. Everything is happening at the right time... Even if I sometimes feel a little isolated here. For real happenings in our lives do not care where we are.

Finally I managed to visit again my old tree-friend at the top of Knockfarrell hill. I'd been sitting at his roots, looking down at grazing sheep and winding country lanes. This time he (the tree) was rather quiet, I think he was dozing in the sunshine.

I'm often visiting the Library in Dingwall. Mostly they do not have the books which I'm looking for (for example Dr. Doolittle), so I try to choose at random. Just the other day I've borrowed a book called Miss Garnet's Angel. It's a contemporary novel, set in Venice. Oh, how I would like to see Venice again! Not the touristic Venice, but the shabby houses, squares with sneaking cats, churches with the Angels' paintings and the old Jewish quarter...

Next week my Polish colleagues are coming back from their holiday. Work will be a little more relaxed, but others go for their holidays, too. I still have to wait, 55 days more, for mine.

My dear Daniela, thank you for your comment! You know, when I close my eyes, I sometimes see the palm trees by the old road, the ruins of Amiera and even the small dogs, looking at me when passing by the Amiera train station...and of course, not only these, but much much more things!

2007-06-02T14:04:00.000+01:00

Finally, it's June. I have to admit I've been a little homesick recently. But I can't do anything about it, I just have to let time pass, waiting for those ten days in August...

About work, I'm having plenty of it, yes. It's good that I have a few hours to relax in the afternoons.

The weather had been - most of the time - like usual, gloomy, cloudy, rainy, cool. For two days pouring without stopping. Yesterday we had a beautiful summer day though. I went for another walk, since I discovered another walking path nearby. I felt light and happy. Birds singing, flowers in full colours, wild ducks on the small loch (lake).

I've had some days off, but I couldn't really go anywhere. Always pouring on my day off, I wonder why...

Well, basically that's all...not too much, I know. Perhaps next time...

2007-05-19T12:54:00.000+01:00

Here I am again... The last two weeks have been really very busy. Partly because I was preoccupied with deciding about dates for my holiday at home (!), and then booking my flight tickets for August. Well done. And then partly because two of my colleagues have gone home for six weeks, and it means work, work, work for me.

Actually nothing very interesting has happened to me lately. It has been raining, of course. Most of the time the rain stops in late afternoon or evening. So one day I used this "pause" for going for a walk after my dinner. Spring is at its full here - trees, bushes, flowers are in their full bloom. The air was filled with wonderful flowery fragrances and with moisture. I was reminded that it's the same bloom at home as well. And yet, I can't compare the two. At home the May-blossom is "heavy" and suffocating, and causing me allergy. Here it is light, the air is clean, almost transparent. No trace of allergy. The birds were singing at the top of their voice. I felt the magic and sensed the presence of fairies as I walked besides the edge of the pine wood, admiring the small green shoots on the branches. I'd been watched...:-)

I also spent a lot of money lately. I went to Inverness again, and since it was of course raining, I spent my time shopping... I acquired a mobile phone; bought a book (again) called Alentejo Blue (it tells the stories of people's lives in a small rural Portuguese village - of course I had to buy it); the soundtrack of the movie "Music and Lyrics" (Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore), because it just cheers me up; and a pair of summer trousers (even though I'm starting to doubt summer will ever come here).

Well well, the Scottish pipe band is coming every Saturday to play on the square. Last time I was standing there, watching, listening... Everything else seemed to drift away. Only the sound of the pipes...

2007-05-06T11:50:00.000+01:00

This has been a busy week. Full hotel, a lot of work. And our boss is back from a family visit. Hm. I've not managed to come to like her, the same way as almost everyone among my colleagues. She's too much used to being a boss... Well, I hope I'll be able to stand her style until I'm here...

No day off this week, just a few hours rest a day. This means I did not visit any new places. But I did enjoy the wonderful sunshine under the Scottish sky. I walked around the village, had been sitting on benches just meditating or reading.

I realized I've got used to the seagulls' cries so much by now that I don't really notice them anymore. I went once to Dingwall to do my "Tesco shopping", and I've borrowed a new book from the library. It's by Isabel Allende and is called City of Beasts. Actually it is a teenager's book, but very nice, full of magic. Then I opened a bank account. I feel a very responsible person now (I haven't had a bank account since last August...)

Yesterday I visited the Scottish Archeology Fair here in the village. It's a quite detailed exhibition about archeological discoveries and facts. They even had a Viking combat display in costumes, of course.

The clouds are back, the gloom has returned. I feel it in my head, it's sore.

But I'm looking forward to the coming Saturday evenings: a Scottish bagpipe band will be playing on the square each week in the season!

2007-04-29T11:01:00.000+01:00

Beautiful sunshine, strikingly blue sky, blossoming trees. My present Scottish scenery. There had been no rain for four days in a row. Oh, how I appreciate it! Each sunny day is a gift.
This last week housekeeping had been also added to my "worklist". I found it difficult only on a so-called strip day - which means those days when the groups of guests leave. It is always Friday and Monday. On these days all beds must be done anew and a thorough cleaning should be done in all rooms.
It is much less stressful however than serving breakfast for example. Especially because our chef is not a morning person (and that's the rather diplomatic way of saying it), being in a bad mood almost every morning. Swearing or kicking against the stove are his worst habits. At other times, during the day, he is nice, joking around with a naughty look in his eyes. He looks, laughs, and at these occassions, acts like a real pixie. No wonder, we are in Scotland...
I'm slowly starting to discover my surroundings. I had my Saturday off with a wonderful weather, so I chose one of the walking paths that leads to Knockfarrell, an ancient Pictish hillfort. The path leads most of the time uphill, it's a very good exercise... So I walked on green hills, among thorny bushes with yellow flowers (they seem to grow everywhere here). They charmed me with their aroma as sweet as honey.
I saw two brown rabbits on the way as well as grazing sheep. The grass I walked on was like a green velvet carpet. On top of the hill at Knocfarrell the wind blew very strong - and not the warm south wind, no. Strong and cool. I sheltered myself at the trunk of a huge pine tree, and tried to listen to his whispers about his relationship with the wind. Wind represents freedom, I heard him suggest, as I tried to hide myself within his covering. It clears away dust, too. And when you have your roots firmly grounded, it cannot harm you.
So I learned something, again. And decided to come back to "my" tree whenever I can...

2007-04-22T11:10:00.000+01:00

My second week...

It has been much lighter. We had only 25 guests in the hotel which made things easier and quicker. Even for me! I'm doing my best to improve my "dining room skills". By now I know by heart the breakfast menu: full Scottish (which includes fried bread, egg, bacon, sausage, tomato, beans - wonder how people can eat all that?), scrambled, poached or boiled egg. Yet, I'm still tensed that I might confuse something. What, of course, had happened last week, but this week I've managed to follow the thread. :-)

I had two free days this week! I went to Inverness, which is the capital of the Highlands. It takes 50 minutes to get there by bus. The river Ness flows through the city, and Loch Ness is not so far away. There are organized tours on boat to see the Loch (and Nessie, naturally).

I'm intrigued by the fact that there is a statue of a unicorn on the main square!

I found welcoming Inverness' atmosphere. The inner city has a pedestrian zone with lots of different shops. I wandered into a bookstore, and could not resist temptation. They have a special offer - you get 3 books for the price of 2. A positive challenge it was to choose three different books. In English.

Finally I met two cats in Inverness. I've been so much expecting to see cats everywhere, but not even one I found until Friday. Both of them came to me as I stopped to greet them, as if they knew, but had not seen me for long time.

I went to look at the museum, too, which has an exhibition about Scotland's history and geography. This is how I came across a chart which listed the Gaelic (the old Celtic language of Scotland) alphabet. I never knew that each letter represents a tree! A few examples: A is Ailm in Gaelic (Elm in English), B is Beithe in Gaelic (Birch in English), C - Coll (Hazel), D - Dair (Oak), M - Muin (Vine), S - Suil (Willow)...

I tried today capuccino, made in Scotland. I hoped it would resemble more "real" coffee, but no, underneath the milk foam I found the same light, quite watery, brown liquid.

I finished reading a book which I borrowed from the Library nearby. It is a fascinating novel! Title: Labyrinth. Author: Kate Mosse. It is set in South France, and although the main characters live in two different times (13th and 21st centuries), they are still connected by ancestry. History (crusade, heretics, Cathars), Grail, ancient rituals, secrets, adventure, etc.

Try it out!

2007-04-15T11:45:00.000+01:00

Strathpeffer, Ross-shire, Scottish Highlands.
I'm in a small Victorian village with a beautiful scenery and old fashioned houses. Our hotel - where I work - is truly one of them. An old wooden staircase leads up to the floors - which behaves quite strangely, you might even get lost behind one of the hidden corners... I'm not able to provide pictures, sorry, since the hotel doesn't even have a website.
However, the village is very well equipped. It has an internet cafe (I'm sitting right in the middle of it), a small shop (with a post office inside), a drugstore, a spa shop, a souvenier and antique shop, a medical center, a museum, and even cafes and public bars.
There are nice walking paths around, I'm planning to explore them soon.
The first five working days are behind me. Mostly I've been serving guests in the dining room, taking their orders, washing dishes. I have stiff back and arm muscles from carrying the plates...:-) The first two weeks I'll do basically only this, so that I can learn everything in this "area". The guests here are usually middle aged and elderly people from all over the country (with different accents!). They come by buses, no, coaches, that's what they say here.
The weather - so locals say - is quite good for the season. Sometimes it is raining, but the big clouds are running after one another very fast. We've got sunshine for two days now!
There are many seagulls in this area (very good, they are my favourite birds), their cries can almost always be heard.
The closest town where I can do bigger shoppings is called Dingwall. It has a high street with numerous shops. There is also a Tesco and a public library. I've registered myself yesterday, and have borrowed two books already to read. One of them is a Portuguese language book!!!
So far so good. I'm quite tired since everything and everyone is new to me. We'll see how the following days will turn out...

2007-04-08T15:48:00.000+01:00

"Do you feel strong, full of life and enthusiasm? I hope you do, because this week nothing can stop you. The sky's the limit. You now have the assistance to set goals and achieve them with the certainty that you'll be able to achieve anything you set your mind to. A refreshing wind of enthusiasm and happiness is blowing into town. The next seven days are all about getting up and moving to a new and higher level of you..."
I've just read this message at my weekly "Kabbalah tune-up". It made my day. Tomorrow at this time I'll be already in Scotland, Strathpeffer. I think this is the right timing to start something new. In whatever I read, the message is leaving the old pattern and starting the new.
I feel a little depressed though to leave my beloved room at home, where I was weaving my dreams the last three months... But life is about moving on to the next stage, and that with curiosity and courage.

2007-03-31T14:28:00.000+01:00

To those of you who are interested: I've managed to buy a new suitcase. I'll need it very soon, because in a week things have started to really hurry me up.
I'm leaving on 9 April for the Scottish Highlands. I can't imagine a better place for myself on the British Isles. The nature, the lakes, and all the magic I associate with Scotland - are waiting for me. I'd like to have my eyes, ears and heart open for the new adventures.
When I was having my job interviews, I thought: "I cannot tell you where I'd like to stay, it seems it's you who choose for me". But I tried to "ask" the country itself to choose. I believe that eventually the place had infuenced the agency...
I'm in the middle of preparations, selecting and packing things. Excitement is already upon me. The sun is shining, Spring has arrived to my small town. I think the first swallows are here as well, above our kitchen window.
A new stage is coming...

2007-03-21T15:57:00.000+01:00

Time has come at last, even for me. I've joined those who go "public" with their journal, writings, thoughts on the web. I'm about to become a blogger myself.
I don't know if you are curious or not what I will be vriting here. I know however that I will write anyway. Writing is the way I work. It is a channel and a challenge. It gives me the rythm in life.
I'm still curious how I will actually manage it, since I decided to write in English, not in my own language, Hungarian. We'll see...
Let me start then...

I'm going to leave home again. When I returned from Portugal, I tried to find my "place", well, with not much success. As most of you know, Portugal holds a special place in my thoughts - it is "my country". I'm really sorry that you are not able ro read my "book" - it is in Hungarian, and sooner or later it's going to be published - what I wrote about those unforgettable four months. Some of you appear in the story, trust me, only in a good way. :-)
Well, my conclusion is that I wish to return to Portugal. But here comes a detour which leads me to - the UK. It looks like I'm trying to stick to my favourite poem of C.P. Cavafis: "As you set out for Ithaka hope your road is a long one..." Or another translation says: "...choose the longest road that leads to it."
It is fairly easy to find work on the British Isles, that's it. I'll start my "career" in a country-hotel; as soon as I know the exact place, I'll let you know. I will be leaving sometime after Easter.
I'm a little worried about the weather over there, but perhaps Spring and then Summer will be gracious to me. My heart is slightly heavy, because she wants to go the South (Portugal of course), but with no money it'd make no sense. So I tell her to listen to Cavafis' words. I may have to see important places, meet people who enrich my small world, again.
In the meantime, I have to buy a new suitcase...